Life After Cancer

Since my blog has a "Life After Cancer" focus, I figured it's only fair to give you all some back story. In My First Blog Post, I mentioned that this was a space where I didn't want to solely focus on a sad girl with cancer. However, I think it's important to identify that the reason I made this blog was to show other young adults and adolescence that it's okay to not be okay and that you WILL find your new meaning/purpose. I actually did an entire YouTube video rant on the idea that, it's okay to not be the same person you were before.

If you do watch my YouTube channel (which is still a new baby so be nice, the content is coming!!) you can see I've already touched on My Cancer Diagnosis.

Yes, cancer was shit. Yes, it changed my entire life and outlooks. Yes, I am still dealing with the shit show of residual effects and coming to terms with the fact that my path in life has shifted and I'm still wondering aimlessly on that path to find my purpose.

Life after cancer has brought me the joys (hard sarcasm) of dealing with hair re-growth, skin re-grown, and deterioration. My nails would literally crack all the way down to the cuticles and my entire body was swollen for a long time. My left arm is permanently messed up from my two PICC lines and an infection. I get tired easily and my hormones are CRAZY. I gained so much weight during my treatment due to large doses of steroids and it's been so difficult to lose even 1lb. BUT, I am alive. I graduated University, travelled, laughed, made new friends and am about to finish my graduate studies. Amongst all these triumphs, I still feel a sense of loss. I don't know who I am anymore or what I want to be/do. I'm anxious and battle depression and major body dysmorphia.

This "loss of self" is a key problem for AYA cancer patients/survivors. I have been dealing with this for 3 years now, and I can't say it's getting easier, but I have found that just living in spontaneity and simplicity has really helped. I try and follow the Hygge Lifestyle.

As much as I can, I try to incorporate Hygge into my lifestyle. The idea of Hygge is to acknowledge a feeling or a moment, the ordinary and the extraordinary. It's about having a conscious appreciation for life and simplicity and having the ability to be present and enjoy the here and now. I think this lifestyle is a key aspect for many cancer patients and survivors. notice the small thing, stop and listen, enjoy what is happening now and not planning for later. 

Just be.

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