This Infernal Racket | my life, after cancer

A Toronto-based lifestyle blog by a 2x cancer survivor

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Keep Fighting

2018 was the start of me putting myself first and focusing on being the best me I can be.

No matter how long you've been on your journey, sometimes you lose your way. Sometimes, life just keeps pushing you back, or maybe you keep pushing yourself back. That nagging voice in your head keeps telling you-you aren't good enough, makes you question your self-worth and your unique skills.

Well, let me tell you something; it takes so much mental, physical and emotional perseverance to get back on track and it's okay if you stumble as long as you keep trying to pick yourself back up. I keep trying to "be the old Kayla" but there is no possible way I can. The amount of shit that has happened in my life took away my innocence and now I have to stand up and find "the new Kayla".

In the past few years, I've learned to fight for myself and defend what I believe in. I am an advocate for my own health and my own body, and even though my body is still struggling and fighting against me every day I am still trying to move forward. I'm learning that I am worth the fight. My mentality and sanity are worth the fight. Cancer took so much from me, and even now 1.5 years into remission it is still taking. I am physically changed and squishy, weaker and less energetic. I see the aftermath of my disease everywhere I look and it haunts the dark corners of my mind but with brokenness comes beauty. No matter how long it takes, no matter who is ahead of you or catching up with you, just focus on yourself and keep going. Remember who you were, but don't keep trying to be that person. You're different now. Embrace it.

Keep fighting for yourself.

bringing in the new year with the bubbles & hope.


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