Dear Kayla,
Hey, it's me your future self.
I wanted to write you a letter to tell you some things that you need to know.
Well, this fucking sucks. You're 21, healthy, fit and finally happy with your life...and now you have cancer. It's going to be hard. It's going to be hard to fight, go to school, and manage your life, which is why I am going to give you some advice.
It's okay to not be okay.
I know you want to prove to yourself that you are unstoppable, and you are, but taking the time to rest and heal is more important right now. The next 8 months are going to be some of the hardest days of your life. You are going to start to spiral into depression because you keep all your feelings and emotions inside. I want to remind you that you are not okay right now, and it's okay to admit that to people and to ask for help. You think that keeping it all in makes you strong, but actually, being honest about how you feel is far braver. I want you to check in with yourself every week, reflect on how you are feeling and acknowledge those feelings.
Tell your friends what is going on, don't hide it from them. Tell yourself that your body will change, but do not become obsessed with it because there is nothing you can do right now. Yes, I know that food anxiety is something you struggle with every day, but right now you need to give your body what it needs to beat this.
You got this.
After you're done with your first year of treatment, you're going to go into beast mode and try to 'fix' everything and go back to your old self. I'm sorry to say you're never going to be 'her' again, too much has happened and you are different now, but not worse. Your fight isn't over. You're going to have to go through something else, and it'll test you in more ways than before. That black hole is going to get bigger but I don't want you to hate yourself. You are beautiful and strong, and this time around, you know what to do.
Look for support, and connect with other young adults battling cancer. I want you to care about yourself more, and talk to people who understand. I want you to cry, yell, laugh and scream: remember to be honest.
Be mindful of yourself
You'll get through the next year, a little worse for wear but stronger than ever before. The hardest part will be the 'after' when everything you suppressed will come pouring out and manifesting into negativity. You will feel worthless and undeserving of happiness. Let me set things straight: you are beautiful, kind (you will have your bitchy moments), caring and brave fuck. There are so many things you will accomplish in the following years to prove all those negative thoughts wrong.
Life is tough and it may seem like you won't get through this. I promise you will; you will come out the other side. You will need to be mindful of yourself because, yes, you are forever changed. I know you feel alone right now, but you have so many great people around you, and you have so many great things coming your way.
You are fearless. You will learn to stand your ground and stand up for yourself. Your life is important and I want you to light it up and live it.
With love,
Your future self.
October 2018.
Hey, it's me your future self.
I wanted to write you a letter to tell you some things that you need to know.
Well, this fucking sucks. You're 21, healthy, fit and finally happy with your life...and now you have cancer. It's going to be hard. It's going to be hard to fight, go to school, and manage your life, which is why I am going to give you some advice.
It's okay to not be okay.
I know you want to prove to yourself that you are unstoppable, and you are, but taking the time to rest and heal is more important right now. The next 8 months are going to be some of the hardest days of your life. You are going to start to spiral into depression because you keep all your feelings and emotions inside. I want to remind you that you are not okay right now, and it's okay to admit that to people and to ask for help. You think that keeping it all in makes you strong, but actually, being honest about how you feel is far braver. I want you to check in with yourself every week, reflect on how you are feeling and acknowledge those feelings.
Tell your friends what is going on, don't hide it from them. Tell yourself that your body will change, but do not become obsessed with it because there is nothing you can do right now. Yes, I know that food anxiety is something you struggle with every day, but right now you need to give your body what it needs to beat this.
You got this.
After you're done with your first year of treatment, you're going to go into beast mode and try to 'fix' everything and go back to your old self. I'm sorry to say you're never going to be 'her' again, too much has happened and you are different now, but not worse. Your fight isn't over. You're going to have to go through something else, and it'll test you in more ways than before. That black hole is going to get bigger but I don't want you to hate yourself. You are beautiful and strong, and this time around, you know what to do.
Look for support, and connect with other young adults battling cancer. I want you to care about yourself more, and talk to people who understand. I want you to cry, yell, laugh and scream: remember to be honest.
Be mindful of yourself
You'll get through the next year, a little worse for wear but stronger than ever before. The hardest part will be the 'after' when everything you suppressed will come pouring out and manifesting into negativity. You will feel worthless and undeserving of happiness. Let me set things straight: you are beautiful, kind (you will have your bitchy moments), caring and brave fuck. There are so many things you will accomplish in the following years to prove all those negative thoughts wrong.
Life is tough and it may seem like you won't get through this. I promise you will; you will come out the other side. You will need to be mindful of yourself because, yes, you are forever changed. I know you feel alone right now, but you have so many great people around you, and you have so many great things coming your way.
You are fearless. You will learn to stand your ground and stand up for yourself. Your life is important and I want you to light it up and live it.
With love,
Your future self.
October 2018.
My name is Anna, and I’d like to share my journey of battling oral and genital herpes. For four long years, I found myself caught in a relentless cycle of discomfort, anxiety, and stigma. Despite trying various medications, I felt like I was losing the battle. The frequent outbreaks impacted not only my physical well-being but also my emotional health and social interactions. I often felt hopeless, believing that I was destined to live with this condition forever.
ReplyDeleteDuring this difficult period, I exhausted numerous treatment options, from antiviral medications to topical ointments. While some provided temporary relief, none offered a permanent solution. Each time I experienced an outbreak, I felt overwhelmed by anxiety, constantly worrying about how it affected my life and my relationships. I often felt the weight of stigma associated with herpes, which left me feeling isolated and misunderstood.
It was during this period of struggle that I came across information about Dr. Utu’s herbal remedy online. Initially skeptical, I decided to reach out to him via email at drutuherbalcure@gmail.com. To my surprise, Dr. Utu responded quickly and with genuine compassion. He provided reassurance and took the time to understand my situation. After discussing my symptoms and medical history, he tailored a personalized herbal remedy for me. His approach was holistic, and felt comforting compared to the clinical nature of conventional treatments I had been receiving.
I committed myself to following his instructions diligently, incorporating the herbal remedy into my daily routine as advised. Throughout the treatment, I felt hopeful for the first time in years. Dr. Utu remained supportive, checking in on my progress and encouraging me to share any changes I observed.
Upon completing the treatment course, I felt an overwhelming mixture of anticipation and anxiety as I prepared for my medical tests. My heart raced as I awaited the results, unsure of what to expect. To my astonishment, the first test confirmed I was herpes-free! In disbelief, I scheduled a second test to confirm those results, and once again, it came back negative.
The moment I received those results was life-changing. I realized that I had finally overcome the stigma and suffering that had consumed my life for so long. I felt a profound sense of relief and liberation; finally, I could envision a brighter future without the shadow of herpes looming over me. My overall quality of life has significantly improved since that day. I can freely engage in social activities, enjoy relationships without fear, and experience life without the constant anxiety of outbreaks.
Dr. Utu’s herbal remedy not only offered physical healing but also restored my confidence and peace of mind. I am incredibly grateful for his support and expertise, which truly made a significant difference in my life. For anyone out there struggling with herpes or any similar condition, I strongly encourage you to consider reaching out to Dr. Utu. His herbal remedies are not just effective; they represent hope and healing. Your journey may feel daunting, but know that there are options available. You don’t have to suffer in silence.
Thank you for taking the time to read my story. I hope my experience offers encouragement to those facing similar battles. You are not alone, and there is hope for a happier and healthier life ahead.